Anna is a friend of mine from graduate school and the author of the blog "French Kids Don't Get Fat." (http://frenchkidsdontgetfat.typepad.com/) Anna has been interested in kids' nutrition for a long time. In fact, I remember sitting with her in her kitchen with 2-month old Matthew in my arms as she talked about some of her ideas. Anna is a writer, and even back then she knew that childhood nutrition was going to be her subject. Little did I know that this infant son of mine was going to propel me toward that subject as well. I am so happy to have Anna in on this conversation because I think that the two different angles from which we approach the subject is invigorating. I look forward to reading Anna's book someday, but for now I'll follow her blog.
Anna asks several questions in her comment on my blog post titled "Matthew's winning camp essay" and I'll try to answer them here. She mainly wants to know why I think Matthew got fat. In short, I think it's because we followed a typically American diet, pretty high in carbs and fat, and that he was genetically predisposed to being fat. As Anna pointed out, our daughter, who was eating the same, did not get fat, which I think is evidence of the genetic predisposition. I've struggled with my weight, and she will too, but becoming obese would take some doing. Bob, on the other hand, has struggled with obesity to some extent and his family definitely does. I think Matthew got an extra dose of that ingredient in the genetic soup.
I think Matthew also has always wanted to eat more. What causes that? Is that genetic too? If I had steered him toward better foods, which is basically what Anna's theory and blog is about, the outcome would not have been the same. I was too lazy and too unaware. Anna says, "I think you probably knew what he should be eating." Yes, that's true to an extent. I knew a lot about nutrition, but the information is so inconsistent. I remember I went through a phase where I put flax seed in things, for isntance. That was good. But it was peripheral. There's a lot of specialized information out there. I wish I had had an unwavering foundational guideline: Lowfat. Emphasis on whole grains and vegetables. Period.
I blew it. I failed him. We all fail our kids in some way, and I accept that.
He still has quite a focus on food, but he veers toward lean protein and naturally lowfat foods because of what he learned in camp and I help him with that. He blows it often, but I help him get back on track. As of the last couple months, he has launched full force into the puberty process. I tried to wipe off what I thought was a smear of dirt on his upper lip and it was actually the uneven beginnings of soft moustache hair. We sure laughed about that. His voice is changing and he's getting taller. I am crossing my fingers that this will help a lot with the weight issue. I hope that a little vanity kicks in too. I can see him becoming one of those teenage boys that works out and lifts weight once he sees the results. He really likes girls.
Anyway, thanks so much for your questions Anna. Did I answer them thoroughly enough? Please continue to join us here.
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2 comments:
Follow-up comment to my own blog posting: I think if we'd eaten a less typically American diet from the start, if we'd eaten more like the French, for instance, obesity would not have become a problem. I don't think lowfat eating is the answer to all prevention. But I do suspect that the reason the camp Michael went to is the most successful at treating childhood/teen obesity is that a lowfat approach is the most realistic for kids who are entrenched in a certain diet. They can replace many foods with lowfat versions. I try to go beyond that and work toward making Matthew more amenable to whole grains, fruits and vegetables, but I will not be able, at this point, to switch Matthew to a whole new diet. You may think I can, I'm the parent and all that, but no, it would not work for me and him. It's going to be lowfat turkey burgers instead of beef; it's going to be pizza without cheese instead of regular pizza; it's going to be waffles made with ff milk and egg substitute, etc.
I think the approach of substituting lowfat versions for what he is eating is a kind of deprivation, which I don't think ever really works. My answer would be to continually introduce new, real foods, well prepared, tasty and attractive. A LOT of different stuff. Basically if you say yes to everything, you can eat junky stuff still also, but you will be so busy trying everything else that's out there that you just won't be able to eat so much junk. Real foods found in nature, if you vary them a lot, are not going to make you fat, including meat, eggs and cheese. Variety is the answer, not lowfat, I believe. Eat the real thing, and eat everything. That doesn't mean eat just what you are used to eating, but expand, expand and eat everything you haven't eaten yet and keep going with the goal of eating it all. Good food is the best replacement for bad food. If things are interesting, ever-changing, and delicious, he is not going to miss anything. Egg substitute? That goes against everything I believe, myself. I think that trying to provide the biggest variety of real food is the easiest, most interesting, most healthful, most enjoyable and most effective way to fight overweight problems. When you consider that there are literally thousands of real, natural foods out there, that is a good adventure to launch on. New recipe after new recipe, good quality, emphasis on flavor and change. It's the same reason I don't like fake meat for vegetarians. It seems like a doctrine of naught. There are plenty of real options to replace meat that will make you forget all about what you are NOT eating. Also, I would not talk about what he is not getting. He needs to be seduced stealthily by better foods. His hunger is your ally on that. Are you afraid to let him go hungry? If you only supply foods you want him to eat, without making an issue of it, he will eat them. I am exploring the idea of "masterly inactivity"--wisely passive ways to get kids to eat what you want them to eat.
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